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August 9, 2010 / carmenklassen

And That’s Why I Love Running

I had a difficult week last week. An important friendship dissolved in a matter of days, and despite my best efforts, it looks like it’s done for good. I’ve felt everything from confusion, anger, and disappointment, to disbelief and sadness. The anger is fairly easy to burn off, and with enough reflection I am able to understand why things didn’t work.

But the sadness. I didn’t know what to do with the moments of incredible sadness. Reminding myself of all the good things in my life did nothing to temper it. You can have the whole world and still mourn the loss of a friendship. I realized that every person occupies a unique place in one’s life, and though I will make other friends, nobody will ever be exactly the same as the friend I lost.

I was in the midst of such a moment yesterday when I decided to go for a run. I haven’t run for a couple of months, but it seemed like the perfect time to lace up.

And it was. I forgot what running does for me. Within five minutes I started to feel better. Life wasn’t so sad, and I could see the good things all around me. Possibilities opened up before me as I ran, and my spirits lifted. As I passed a large, beautiful house I heard the sounds of classical piano drifting through the open windows, and it seemed a serenade just for me.

I’ve tried to explain to friends why I run, when sometimes it seems like so much more work than, say, going for a bike ride.

I run because it gives me hope.

I run to find solutions to my problems.

I run to feel alive.

I run because nothing else makes me feel this way.

It will take time to get over the loss of this friendship, but now I know that when I find myself in the midst of the sadness, slipping out the door for a run will help me get through the moment.

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